I Choose.

I appreciate when I get schooled by friends. When conversations that were intended simply for catching up after months of not seeing each other turn into moments of gaining insight and learning more about community and friendship.
I saw Kay, a dear friend from college, back in August and our conversation went from 'tell me about your life since I've last seen you' into 'Whoa, I need to remember this'. It was as I asked Kay about her relationship with her boyfriend, and how it was progressing. As she filled me in, she mentioned how the relationship has been a constant forging of honesty, vulnerability and trust. And it is implemented by choice.

As I spoke with her, I realized all relationships are like that. Whether they be friendships, romantic relationships, even professional relationships... there is always a choice involved. 

None of the committed relationships and partnerships I've seen have pointed to the opposite from what Kay shared. Not my housemates' marriage, friends who are in dating relationships, not my friendship with my Twin or my male best friend. I find that I always have a choice: a choice to be vulnerable, honest, and transparent in order to further our relationship.

Yet that's the most difficult part. To stay in it and choose my best friend, housemate, or friend I've known forever and a day. It's difficult to stay and delve deeper into transparency, trust, honesty, and often mistakes and failure. What impressed me so much about Kay and her relationship is that she trusts Jake to affirm, challenge, and encourage where necessary. To see her, and to love her regardless of what happens or is brought up. Whoa.

So as I keep choosing the folks I surround myself with, I have to remind myself I am making a choice to make time, sacrifice 'alone time', or share what is really happening for me. It's a choice to choose you as a friend, partner, or wherever we're at.