Seen.

A new season. Sometimes you're able to notice what God is doing in you as he's doing it. I'm currently in that season.

I often ask myself the question, "What do they see?"
I wonder what my actions, musings, beliefs and work ethic communicate. What do folks see when they meet me? As they get to know me?

More and more, I fool around with the idea of love. Of 'finding' someone who will see me and love me for precisely who I am. And I begin to ask the question, "What do I want to be about?"

I want to be about a lot of things. A follower of Jesus. A woman of courage. A woman of persistent faith. A risk taker. A dancer. A dreamer. A developer.

However, as I pondered (and continue to ponder) these questions, Jesus wanted me to know and believe a more fundamental one.

It began while talking to the Twin. She spoke with conviction about how God is the God who sees. The God who sees us. The God who sees me.

And slowly, that's become the focus of my sight right now. The truth that my heart needs to hear and accept as Truth.

And it's manifested itself in the words that He speaks.
In the random conversations with elderly Mexican men who say, "Pos estas muy bonita para no tener novio." ("You are too pretty to not have a boyfriend.")
In the comments of housemates who say, "Maybe he likes you."
Even in the initiative of my Father speaking to me.

Because after living in the shadow of sisters, friends, and expectations; the fact that I'm being seen for me is quite healing. It allows me to see and recognize that not everyone I run into is saying these things to be nice, or because it's the polite thing to say...there has to be a ring of truth to it.

And slowly, I'm realizing that I'm worthy of being seen. Of being seen as beautiful. Worth investing in. Worth taking a risk for.

So, Papa, thanks for using your creation to make a point. Thanks for doing so now, when life is settling. For bringing healing in the core parts of who I am. So that I may, indeed, live.